Friends,
I say friends because, being in the category of TMI (too much information), I do not expect anyone to read this unless they have some level of concern for me and my personal well being. It would take too long to read and be of little to no interest to anyone other than someone who cares, and a person who cares about you personally is what I would consider to be a friend. And so, I say, Friends,…
When the COVID thing first hit, I was cruising along like a well-oiled machine: everything in my world was about as good as it could be. BB and I were good. My family was healthy and we were all getting along. I was making progress on the small details still left to do before I could say we were back to pre-storm conditions. Most of all, I had started on the German armored car series and TMD was popping. So, like I said: everything was very good.
Then COVID hit and things started to change.
I knew something like COVID was coming. I didn’t know that it would be a pandemic, I just knew that some sort of ‘crisis’ was coming and it would be used to change the world — and not for what I consider to be ‘the good.’ I know way too much about what has been planned for us to not understand what COVID meant, and it affected me on many levels.
I couldn’t really talk about what I knew because it makes people sound like they are crazy. I lost my oldest friend when I tried to discuss things with him, so I kept quiet. I didn’t even really talk about it with BB. I’m a solitary person by nature, so I am used to not having many close friends to talk to about the things that bother me. However, the level of isolation I fell into over COVID was new to me, and I didn’t handle it well.
This started to affect my operation of TMD. I was good with routine things, so I was able to fill orders and maintain the shop without much difficulty. But I am a bit of an emotional builder. If I am troubled, I do not find refuge in building, I find frustration, instead. This is why new products have not been coming from TMD for a while now: because I could not force myself to sit down and master at the level I demand of myself. Naturally, this has caused a slow-down for TMD, which only added to my internal pressure.
Then there is the matter of all the new 3D printed modeling products. For a while, I allowed myself to give up on TMD emotionally. I work hard to keep this place running, and it was discouraging to think that TMD could be replaced by a guy who couldn’t build the way I do but who knew how to use a computer program.
I have no interest in learning to draw in CAD. I took mechanical drafting when I was young and, though I can do it, I do not enjoy it. I enjoy computers even less. So, no, I — me, personally — am never going to learn to ‘get with the times.’ I’d love to find and work with a 3D guy like Karl: someone who knows how to use CAD and understands the financial realities of this hobby. But I’m not holding my breath. I’m just going to pull up my big boy pants and deal with technology. I’ll keep on doing what I do until the new tech puts this old horse-and-buggy company out of business. Hopefully, by that time, I’ll have managed to get my new endeavor up and running well enough to provide me with the same modest income TMD has provided all these years. If not,… Well, that brings us to the last thing I want to share.
The last thing I feel I should share is that I have been getting more and more into my study of Scripture — only, on its terms. By that, I mean I have been learning about the ancient culture and language which produced the Scriptures, and trying to understand them in their original context (as best that can be done this far forward in time). Trust me, those who do as I have been doing — and who actually try to embrace and live the teachings — will be something far different from what the world thinks of when they think of ‘Christians.’ Maybe this is why I don’t even consider myself to be a ‘Christian,’ though I firmly believe in YHWH and His Son, Yeshuah, the the Messiah.
I have found the Bible to be more true than I had ever imagined, and in surprising ways. I know how many people feel about this subject these days, and I feel bad for them. The Scriptures have been a great source of comfort to me. They have provided me with a guide when I didn’t know what I should do. They have encouraged me when I was doing right, and corrected me when I went astray from the right path. They have also given me hope and healing. Most of all, they have shown me how to see the hidden hand of YHWH at work in my life, which has been the biggest blessing of all for me. I am convinced that, had I not stuck with my study of the Scriptures through this period in my life, I might have gotten lost.
Thankfully, however, my studies (and corresponding Faith) have helped me to regain my feet and get my life moving again. I have a new hope for the future: both for myself and BB, as well as for TMD. I’ll just keep my head down and do what I do with TMD for as long as you guys keep buying. Like I said earlier, if and when that stops, I’ll know it is time for me to move on to whatever He has planned for me next. In the mean time, I will keep working on the other project I have mentioned. I know several of you have asked about it, but I am not ready to share that subject — yet. It has nothing to do with modeling and, if I tell you about it too soon, before it has been built up a bit,… Well, let’s just say I value my modeling friendships and I do not want to mess them up over something that has nothing to do with the hobby we all love. I just pray this will be enough for those of you who have asked, at least, for now, anyway.
OK, so that’s what has been causing the funk I have been in the last year or so. As I said when I started, it is probably TMI for most people, but then, I didn’t write this for most people. I wrote it for friends, and I am confident friends will understand. The rest of the world probably doesn’t care, and shouldn’t. So, if you count yourself friend, thank you for reading to the end. I hope it answered your questions. To the rest of the world, I say thank you, too. I hope I did not bore you too much.
Stay safe, and YHWH Bless,
Joe