Good-Bye, Suzy :-(






For reasons I hope will be obvious, I am going to try to keep this as short as possible.  The last few days have been tough for BB and I.  We had to take our little girl, Suzy, for her last nap yesterday.  She had been ill for a while, but we didn’t realize how sick she was until it was too late to do anything for her.   We took her to the vet, but there is just so much they can do about heart failure.  She couldn’t walk anymore, wasn’t eating and had a hard time sleeping.  So, BB and I spent Sunday doing all her favorite things with her, then, yesterday, we said good-bye.

Then, today, I saw the news about Mig Jimenez losing his wife on the same day we lost Suzy.  As much as I will miss Suzy, she was a dog, and that can never compare to the loss of a loved one, especially a spouse.  While the sad news about Mig’s wife helped me to keep perspective, it did little to help with the greater issues with which I’ve been struggling.  The last 18 months have been really hard for me, and the past few days have served to drive home just how lousy I have been as a human being.

Of all the ‘friends’ I have, no one who lives close by bothered to come visit us.  They knew we suffered a loss, but no one bothered to do much more than make a comment on Face Book.  Now, I know I have friends who would have come by if they could, but they all live hundreds of miles away.  I got that; I understand.  And it helps that some of those friends called or sent special messages of condolences.  But it made me think about how poor a friend I must be that no one who lives here thought enough about my wife or I to come see us when we could have used their company.  That shocked me…

Still, I don’t want you to think I am feeling sorry for myself.  I’m not.  In fact, I am feeling quite the opposite.  The Lord has been very good to me, especially over these past eighteen months.  I know that, and I can see the blessings He has given me in and through all the losses I have felt.  So, I am not complaining.  I am just very upset with myself, and feeling a profound sense of shame and remorse for how bad I have been as a person.  So, please, try to understand that, if I do not seem to be myself for a while, I am still OK.  I am going to keep do my job for you — maybe better than I ever have.  But I have some work to do on Joe, and it is going to hurt — at least on this end.  If we are any form of friends in your mind, I beg you to please bare with me while I try to fix what should have been fixed long, long ago.

10 thoughts on “Good-Bye, Suzy :-(

  1. My deepest sympathy for your loss…..l have gone through this myself and l certainly can appreciate your and BB’s feelings…..

  2. I empathize with you. My year has been like a Chicago Bears game: mediocre start and a total collapse in the 4th quarter. May 2020 be the start of a better year (maybe a rebuilding year for our personal lives) for you and your family.

  3. Joe, my deepest sympathies for your loss. We have eight containers of our lost pets’ ashes in our closet, and each container is full of special memories and boundless love, well, maybe except for Snickers, a cat whose love definitely seemed to have its bounds.
    Don’t be any harder on your neighbors than you have to be. It’s always difficult to know what to do or say when something like this happens, and maybe they’re still waiting for the right deed or word to come to mind. Or maybe they weren’t fortunate enough to ever have such a boon companion and they just don’t understand the emptiness you and BB are feeling.
    I’ll be thinking of you and BB and am sorry I didn’t know in time and am not able to make the trip.

    1. Thank you, my friend. And please believe me when I tell you that I am not (consciously) trying to be hard on anyone. Like I said in my blog post here: I am looking at the reflection in the mirror and realizing that I do not like what I see. Loosing my Suzy just helped me see myself a little more clearly. No one to blame but ME. That said, I am not going to be too hard on myself. As long as I remain above ground and am aware of my shortcomings, I have time to work on treating people as specially as they actually are — and yes, that includes the ones who hurt us. I am coming to understand that, safe for a very few, most of those who hurt us do so out of their own private pains. If any of this makes sense… 🙂

  4. Joe, Karin and I are sorry for the loss you and BB are dealing with. We’ve lost several of our “kids” of the cat-kind over the years here in Colorado. Each one was harder than the last. Though cats are kind of cool, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like losing one of our dogs. Dogs seem to make us poor humans better humans. Just remember the fun times you three had.


  5. Joe, my heartfelt sympathy to you both. I lost my 8 year old Boy Maine Coon, Buddy at the end of September and dispite having 3 other beautiful girl cats we miss his enormous character and presence.
    Most importantly is the affection given and received and remembering all the great times you shared.
    Best wishes, Neil

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