JOE’S CORNER: Walking on Faith

FAIR WARNING!

If ‘religious talk’ isn’t your thing, this might not be something you want to read.

Hi, Folks,

As I mentioned in the UPDATE this week, I have been going through a bit more of a struggle than I have been sharing with you.  I’ve kept it to myself because it is largely spiritual and I try not to get too ‘preachy’ where business matters are concerned.  You know: the separation of church and models?  Still, several of you have been sensing that there is more going on in my world than I have been saying and you’ve expressed your concerns to me privately.  So, for the sake of those who may be interested but have not said anything to me, I felt it might be time to explain — especially since it has started to affect TMD.

I need to start by going back a few years.  After I sold TMD to my brother, I went through something of a spiritual revelation.  Prior to that time, I had just played at my faith.  I claimed it, but I never tried to learn or live it.  For whatever reason, I spent the time away from TMD actually learning and trying to live according to the teachings of the faith I had proclaimed my whole life. Needless to say, that was a big change for me; both in what I thought I knew, as well as what was expected of me.  Now, many folks out there may have their doubts about religion.  I totally understand that.  In fact, even though I claimed to believe, I used to share many of the same doubts.  But not anymore.  All I can tell you is that — for me — now — things have changed.  They started to change when I started to live the true teaching of my faith.  Not only did TMD come back to me, but my whole world got better.  Now, don’t get me wrong: I didn’t say my life got easier.  I’m just saying it got better, and in all the ‘right’ ways.  What’s more, my life stayed better for a long time.  In fact, things stayed good for me until I started to forget why they had gotten better in the first place.

My problems began about the time that BB and I moved to our new home.  Shortly before the move, I had started to lose my focus on the things that really mattered — especially where TMD is concerned.  This loss of focus was born mostly from being too successful.  I had been blessed with more than I needed but, instead of being a good steward with what had been given to me and saving it for whatever might happen in the future, I started to waste it on things that had no purpose other than to satisfy personal desires (which, by the way, were never satisfied but only grew with every attempt I made to quench them).  Then the move came and it put financial pressure on TMD.  Still, those were only a warning — a warning I ignored.  After we got moved in and the new shop was built, things settled down and TMD started running smoothly again.  This fooled me into thinking I had fixed things.  Then hurricane Michael hit, and that erased all the delusions I had about me being in control of anything — least of all TMD.

Looking back, I realize that our move had been planned for us long before we ever started thinking it could really happened.  And those years of success before we moved were meant to be stored up; to provide for the move and the storm that would follow.  But I had grown arrogant and foolish.  For those who know their Scriptures, I was trying to build new warehouses to store up my wealth.  Anyway, several months ago, I started to come to my senses.  I realized that, while I am still very blessed, my foolishness had put me in a position where I no longer had any margin for mistakes.  This realization brought back old stresses into my life,  That stress then causes additional problems and, soon enough, I found myself in a bit of a downward spiral.  In short, I allowed the snowball effect that comes from trying to do things my way back in to my life, and I have been suffering for it ever since.

Luckily, I realized what was happening and why.  So, I took a look at where I had been going wrong and I made some important decisions.  The sell-off I am currently conducting is the result of one such decision.  I do not have to sell off my aircraft collection.  TMD is tight, but BB and I have the assets to see TMD through until I get things going again.  No, do I want to sell these kits or the books that go with them.  Aircraft modeling is as much a passion as is armor.  No, I am selling off everything aircraft both as a form of sacrificial repentance, as well as an outward sign of renewed commitment and obedience.  Simply put, I need to renew my dedication tot he Lord.

This also means I need to focus on serving the Lord.  In my case, this does not include preaching to any of you.  I have never made any secret about my beliefs, and, if I thought it would actually help, I would ‘preach’ to you — and I wouldn’t care about the cost to TMD. But that approach has never worked with me, and I would never inflict it upon any of you — especially since I think of each of you as a friend.  No, to the extent that I ‘preach,’ it is by sharing my struggles with you and letting you see how things work out in my life.  That’s how I serve God: by serving you; and I serve you by letting you see how He helps me in my life — and by running TMD to the very best of my abilities.  The better steward I am of what God provides, the better I can run TMD: the better I run TMD, the better I can serve you: the better I serve you, the better I can serve the Lord: and the better I serve the Lord, the better my life becomes.  It is that simple.  I just hope it shows.

So, there you have it: the elephant that has been lurking in the corner of our virtual room here for several months now.  True, I have been trying to handle the stress of rebuilding our home.  Yes, I have been dealing with the stress of keeping TMD running when I have not put out any real product in close to nine months.  But, more than any of this, I have been dealing with the stress of knowing that I had wandered astray and become rebellious once again.  I have been feeling His absence in my life and — again, for me — this is a very bad thing.  But, this time, I have used what I have learned in the past.  Instead of getting down on myself and getting even deeper into the downward spiral, I sought His forgiveness and started taking steps to correct my mistakes so I could return to His presence.  I am happy to report that it is already having a positive affect in my life.  It may not show yet, but, since I made my decisions and started to act on them, Karl has been healed and told me he is returning to making masters for TMD.  I have found a new pattern maker who I hope will not only solve some other problems for TMD, but will become a good friend.  And, most importantly, I have felt the stress lift off my shoulders as I have given control back to Him and returned to focusing on my job.  All I have to do now is take care of BB and TMD.  He’ll handle the rest.  That’s what walking on Faith is all about and, if I will continue to walk on Faith, I have no doubt my life will be back to ‘good’ in no time.  Oh, there will still be struggles, but things will be better in all the ‘right’ areas — the areas that are most important.

Stay safe,

Joe